


god why does it have to be like this we were so good together but i dont have a fucking penis ad that is the only fucking problem

by dammedchester



Category: No Fandom
Genre: F/F, F/M, Ignore this, didnt know where else to post this, having a really rough time, this is just a piece of creative writing that i needed to get out of my brain.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:27:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29104785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dammedchester/pseuds/dammedchester
Summary: I'm gay and heartbroken. ignore this please. or if anyone can relate and offer any advice. really anything is appreciated at this point.
Kudos: 1





	god why does it have to be like this we were so good together but i dont have a fucking penis ad that is the only fucking problem

She is so beautiful. I have dreamt of this day for as long as I have known her. My face feels hot when she walks through those doors. I hope she can’t see it. Or hear my heart beating from across the room. 

I feel safe like this. 

Everyones eyes are on her; as they always should be. 

Absolutely breathtaking. 

She’s nervous though. 

I can always tell. 

Who wouldn’t be? With all of these people surrounding her. Watching her every move. She’s focusing on her feet too much, trying to make sure she doesn’t trip. She’s so cute. She would kill me if I said that out loud right now so I keep it to myself. Now is not the time. 

She looks so happy. A real smile spreading across her face. It’s the smile I see in my most cherished of dreams. My chest is tight. I never want this moment to end. But she’s coming closer. I take so many mental pictures of her right now. I never want to forget how she looks right now. 

Radiant. 

Elegant. 

The lights hitting her dress looking so ethereal. Her skin looks just a soft as I already know it is. 

I have had her under my fingertips so many times before and I still just want to reach out and worship her with my hands and my words and give her everything I have to offer. 

My eyes burn from holding back my tears. She is the most incredible vision I have ever laid my eyes on. Always has been. She’s made it to the front now. She’s so excited. So ready for this new adventure. 

My eyes are locked onto hers. 

But her’s are too lost in his to notice. 

The smile on my face never falters though. 

For her, I will keep it in place. 

I will stand beside her instead of in front of her because this is what she wants. I will ignore the way my breathing stops as I watch them tying their lives together before their family and friends. I will ignore that with every second that their hearts become whole, mine crumbles away. The tears from my eyes will be seen as happy ones just like everyone else’s. Not that anyone is paying attention to me anyway. Everyone in this room is radiating love happiness, I just hope I am a good enough actor to do the same. I no longer hear anything around me. I am lost in my head. In my memories of her that only we share. Of all the happiness she brought me and I did her. 

I thought I was enough. I thought that I was everything she wanted. But in the end, I was missing one very critical thing. 

I would have figured something out. I would have fought until I could give her the life she wanted. But, I’m not even sure if she wanted me to fight. I only want happiness for her though. And she wants the same for me. 

However, knowing things will never be the same and we will never be as close as we once were, happiness for me seems next to impossible. She was my sanctuary. My teammate. My best friend. But all of that is over now. I know she will do all she can to keep in touch. But our lives will move in separate directions until I am simply a memory for her. 

I will go home tonight and cry about that fact until I pass out. 

But right now; my smile does not fall. 

I am the perfect supporter. 

The perfect best friend. 

The perfect bridesmaid.


End file.
